Dropping the Ball Like It’s 2009.
[Note: Back to the personal stuff below. Skip this page if that’s not your cup of tea]
I think that’s about it for the big happenings hobby-wise. Around the time of the BLACKPINK tour, I’d say my life finally started to stabilize in situation. My mental state, not so much. From all the bad stuff that had happened before with my mom, stress at work, and random stress over life in general that we all face, I was just straight-up mentally malfunctioning.
Throughout the rest of this year, I’ve basically gone on a marathon of acting like an idiot. I’ve always struggled with keeping excessive negativity to myself, not oversharing online, or picking arguments over disagreements. I came a long way in overcoming or at least mitigating these for a while, but it went out the window this year. Most of my improper behavior has happened on Twitter. Honestly, I’ve let so loose on there I’m amazed I have any followers left just from how annoying I’ve surely been at times.
It’s tricky. I don’t want to censor myself. Instead, I would prefer to voluntarily use the online realm for what it really should be used for: fun and distraction. I’m not saying make no commentary about things that matter or I believe in, but the way I’ve gone about it at some points was just flat-out toxic. I’ve allowed myself to slip back into the more negative, whiny, argumentative methodology of years past and I am not happy about it. I feel like I’m getting back on track now but ugh, what a crummy year for my personal growth, or lack thereof.
It doesn’t help that I’m a centrist, which seems to just piss everyone off in this polarized, ridiculous climate we’re living in now. I really should keep those social and political comments on the down-low, since both sides will go full holy war on you if you don’t drink their entire jug of kool-aid. It would honestly be to my benefit, and the relief of my friends probably, if I just kept most of that to myself, or at best, kept the occasional comment to something specific and of substance. At the end of the day, what difference does flag waving on social media make? We all believe what we believe and that’s just how it is.