Dear Past Me, Please Stop. Sincerely, Near Future You.
[More personal stuffs on this page. Last one I promise.]
Obviously this crappy behavior had some social consequences. I found myself in a few less than ideal confrontations, and some people even decided to move on. I myself decided to move on a few times. I’ve always struggled with this part of socializing. Sometimes, people just move on and drift apart. I honestly feel like my musical interest changes have had some part in it, which I guess makes sense for friends who are connected via hobbies.
Ultimately, it comes down to this. While seeking some help for my recent breakdown, misstep, whatever you wanna call it, I was told this and it applies heavily here: Yesterday is not today. It’s so damn true. Sometimes, things just change, and that’s how it is. I miss some of the people and situations of years past, and some I don’t miss, but either way that was then, this is now. Things change. And with fandom, things have changed a lot. I am not sure what the future is with me and fandom at large, but I need to go with the flow and just let whatever’s gonna happen, happen. Enough limbo and games.
I am working on it, actively. One step I’ve taken toward finding my balance again is a break from posting on Twitter. I’m still looking (at hobby and friends content only) and maybe dropping an occasional video or reply to someone I know, but absolutely no posting for the time being. I have a timer set for when I will re-evalute my decision on this. I’ll return when I feel like I can use it in a better way. Honestly, this break from posting has done a lot of good so far. It was definitely needed.
Things are getting better, but there’s still work to be done.