Let’s get into the site and myself, I guess. What happened? As we all know, I dived into the realm of podcasting last fall. I had a goal in my head of trying to do at least ten episodes before I decided if it was or was not for me. I made it through two episodes. Just a little shy of my goal, huh? The main reason I did not make it very far was work. Covid-19 and its effect on my job made the last several months complete hell. The only really positive thing in all of it is I’ve managed to avoid getting Covid so far, despite a few very close calls. As an IT director, you can imagine things have been difficult for me as I try to support at-home, on-site, and various hybrid versions of people’s jobs. This was compounded by our move into a new building throughout the summer, which construction had fallen way behind on due to the virus and other issues. Basically we moved into an unfinished and untested building and there were all kinds of malfunctions I had to deal with well into December. I simply had no energy when I came home. And so, the site fell silent once again. I really did mean to keep it going but I just ran out of energy for any kind of “work”.
There was really nothing I could do about it. My job always comes first because it’s kinda hard to do anything else with no livelihood, am I right? I did what adults have to do sometimes: I buckled down and slowly worked my way out of the various holes 2020 threw me into, hobbies and fun be damned. Only in the past couple of weeks do I feel like I can see daylight on the horizon. So now that I’m back, is the podcast returning? The honest answer is probably not. Not in a regular format anyway.
In hindsight I had a very utopian view on podcasting. I thought I’d just hit record, blab into my mic about fun things for 30 minutes or so, and everything would just be wonderful. Okay, I wasn’t that ignorant, but it did end up being a much bigger chore than I thought it might be. In reality, a podcast is a hell of a lot of work. Recording solo is a whole different ballgame than with a group, also. I made significantly more slip ups, stumbled over thoughts and words, and general issues like house or pet noise make for a lot of trouble that a group show would be able to work around with a slight chuckle and continuing on. It took multiple hours to edit both episodes and in the end it was a middle-road experience. I didn’t really love or hate the thing. I think the episodes turned out fine, but only because an absurd amount of time went into post production. Maybe I just remembered back to “The Evening Show” days and thought that would be the experience all over again. No such luck when you are the star, editor, and script writer. Company helps. A lot.
What comes next for the site? More writing, but with a lesser focus on traditional reviews and more of a spotlight kind of format. I just want to share my fun experiences, thoughts on entertainment, basically whatever has my attention that I want to share with others. I think in my previous writings I’ve tried a bit too hard to imitate what others have done rather than just be myself. Writing more technical reviews with content like “The 17.333% reduction in tempo at the bridge results in a plethora of intimate symphonies” and the like just isn’t my thing. There are definitely people in the blogging sphere that I respect if not somewhat look up to, but perhaps what I failed to realize is I respect them for their takes on it, so why am I not giving my own flavor to the internet opinions pile?
It’s time to look at now and ahead primarily, and the path behind me a lot less. This goes for blogging, fandom, life, everything. I grab at nostalgia just a little too much. “Man I miss the days I was on this Internet podcast.” “Man I miss when I posted on this site.” Yeah yeah yeah, there was some good in the past that’s no longer around, but hey, I’m still here. It’s time to embrace my own fandom and platform and spend less time on the past and platforms that are honestly becoming a bit “legacy” in my eyes. In 2010, mainstream Twitter was an awesome place with a great fandom atmosphere. In 2021, mainstream Twitter is a hugbox of sad people who seem to hate everything and would rather attack and try to shove their self-important beliefs on their hobbies, other mindsets and even cultures be damned, rather than enjoying them. And let’s not even get into spending their day regurgitating sociopolitical nonsense, idolizing politicians and self-righteous celebrities, and constantly attacking people who don’t do these things. Looks like fun. Personally, I’ll pass. At a point, I foolishly got in the middle of this and tried to promote centrism and meme on both ridiculous sides. That went over about as well as a lead balloon. All I want from Twitter anymore is to communicate with the circle of good people still left, share my hobby stuff and stay as far away from the various dogma as much as possible. I have no desire to be a part of this modern Twitter culture. All “fan” no “stan” for me, please! I take my values to my heart and the voting box and then I leave people alone like a normal human being. Sometimes a comment does slip out, but I’m really doubling down on trying to avoid that on social media altogether.
The death of fun on mainstream Twitter is a big part of what fuels me to write again. Sure, I have a handful of awesome people I do talk to on Twitter, but I feel like I need a little more than it offers, so yes, I will be returning to posting once again on here on a hopefully more regular basis. Maybe this is the true start of me writing again. Maybe it will fizzle out after a few posts just like before. I am content with either outcome. It’s all for fun, man.
I meant to get back on here sooner, but as the workload lightened and I was able to take a mental inventory, I had a pretty good breakdown to work through. All the stress of the past several months kind of unloaded at once. I’m hardly the only one who’s had mental health issues thanks to 2020, and I got through this pandemic way easier than so many people. In the end I’m just trying to be thankful, dust myself off, and move on. It’s hard to do being unable to take even a short-distance trip for a mental break from life. Hell, it’s only recently getting to a point I feel safe enough to grab some food from a restaurant. To go, of course. I almost literally haven’t been out for anything but groceries and getting my car’s maintenance done in nearly a year. Normal is still so far away, man. It could realistically be another year, maybe even more before I could even think about a proper vacation, for Asian music artists to start returning stateside, or heaven forbid me traveling internationally again. I was very hopeful about 2021, but we still have a way to go. I guess all we can do is just keep on for as long as we can and hope it gets better. At least there’s toilet paper now.
I hope you will join me so that I can share stuff with you that really means something to me, especially in this Covid era where blessings and fun can be sparse. Thanks for continuing to read this blog. I plan to have something for you again soon!